Letting Go of Mom Guilt | Grace-Filled Mom Podcast | Episode 4

If you’ve ever laid awake replaying the day… feeling like you didn’t do enough… or believing you somehow failed your kids, you’re not alone. Mom guilt is one of the heaviest weights a mother can carry, and most of us don’t even realize how much it’s affecting our hearts.

In this episode, we’re digging into the root of mom guilt—why it shows up, what fuels it, and how you can begin releasing it through grace, truth, and a healthier view of yourself as a mom.

You’ll learn how to:
 • Stop measuring your worth by your mistakes
 • Let go of the pressure to be perfect
 • Replace guilt with grace
 • Trust God to fill in the gaps you can’t

You weren’t called to be a perfect mom.
 You were called to be a present, loving, grace-filled one.
And you’re doing better than you think.

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Transcript

0:01

Hi, friends. Welcome to episode four, Letting Go of Mom Guilt For Real This Time. If you've ever ended your day thinking, I should have been more patient, done more, been better, then friend, this episode is for you. Mom guilt is loud, but today we're gonna quiet it with truth and grace. Hi, sweet friend and welcome back to Grace-Filled Mom Podcast. I'm Amy B. Crowe, and whether you're listening on the go or finally catching your breath between activities, I'm so glad you're here. This is your space to feel seen, encouraged, and reminded that you are not alone on this motherhood journey. I Want to start today by taking you back a bit because even though my kids are older now, and two are in college, I remember the early years so clearly, and looking back, I can laugh now at the moments that at the time made me feel like the world's most frazzled mom. There was the Christmas when my 4-year-old found a pair of scissors, and I know you're thinking: how could you not be watching him? But as you will soon learn, it's hard, especially when you have multiple children to watch all of them 24 hours a day. It just simply can't be done. So, carrying on with the story, my 4-year-old found a pair of scissors, cut every single ornament and streamer off of his little tree that was in his room. Little four foot mini tree that was matched to the color of his room. They all three had their own little trees in their room. He cut every single ornament, all the streamers off the little tree. He hid the streamers behind a pillow when I found him in the playroom. He proceeded to climb onto a chair before I found him and put the scissors on top of the refrigerator and then put the chair back thinking that I would never know that it was him that cut everything. Then there was the time when I was rushing to, get to my son's travel ball game. This was years later, with my two girls in the car. My oldest at the time, she's very sweet now, but at the time had a little bit of a sassy mouth at that age. And as I was backing out of the garage, I turned around to, correct her. In my hurry to do the correcting, as a mom, I knocked off my left side mirror because I was continuing to back up while I was trying to discipline. Completely took it off. I had to duct tape it so that I could make it to the game. Because if you've ever been involved in travel ball, they don't wait for you. So, we laugh about that now, but in that moment, the guilt hit hard. Then there was the dinosaur bone excavation. My son and a neighbor friend dug several large holes, in the backyard, huge holes, proudly telling me that they were looking for dinosaur bones. I remember standing there thinking, I can't even go inside for two minutes without chaos unfolding. Real motherhood is messy. It's unpredictable and it's full of moments that test your patience. It stretches your nerves and it makes you question if you're getting any of this right. And if you're like me, these moments often brought an unwelcome companion: mom guilt. The voice in your head that says you should have handled that better. You messed up. You're not doing enough. You're not enough. But here's the truth that I wish that I had understood sooner. Mom guilt is loud, but it is not always telling the truth. God's voice is quieter. It's kinder and it's full of grace. So today we're going to lean into that voice instead. I want to talk to you a little bit about what mom guilt actually is and why it shows up. Mom guilt comes from a lot of places, but most of the time it sneaks in because we care so deeply. We love our children fiercely, and we want so badly to get it right that any misstep feels bigger than it really is, and motherhood has this way of exposing our insecurities. You lose your patience and guilt whispers,"you failed." You forget something and guilt says other moms wouldn't have. You react too quickly and guilt replies,"you messed up again." You compare yourself to other moms, even though you don't want to. Guilt says, see, they're doing it better. But here's what's important to understand, mom guilt isn't always based in truth. Most of the time, it grows from unrealistic expectations, exhaustion, fear of messing up comparison, and the heavy pressure that we put on ourselves. And sometimes we confuse guilt with conviction, but they're not the same. Conviction comes from the Holy Spirit and it leads to growth. Guilt comes from pressure, and it leads to shame. Conviction says. You can learn from this. Guilt says you're terrible. Conviction lifts you, guilt suffocates you. One is from God and one is not, and moms need to be reminded of that difference. What does God say about you as a mom? Let's flip the script for just a moment because while mom guilt loves to point out everything that you think you did wrong, God sees the whole picture, the whole thing. He sees every bit of love that you pour out. He sees the patience that you did show. He sees the sacrifice. All the sacrifices that no one notices. He sees the effort beneath all the exhaustion. He sees the tears that you cry when no one is around. He sees everyone. He sees the prayers that you whisper over your kids. Sometimes the ones that you just think and don't even say out loud. He's not standing over you with disappointment. He's standing with you in compassion. Psalms 103:13 says,"As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him." That compassion is for you, mama. Not just your children. You. God isn't measuring your motherhood by perfect moments. He's measuring it by your faithfulness, your love, your perseverance, and He never once called you to perfection, only to show up, to lean on him and to love your kids. So what does letting go of mom guilt actually look like? I'm going to help you with some practical ways to release that mom guilt. Number one: rewrite the story that you tell yourself. Instead of, I messed up,try I'm learning and I'm growing. Sounds a lot better, doesn't it? Instead of I'm failing, try: I'm showing up and that matters. All right. Number two: ask God for HIs perspectives. For instance, a simple prayer."Lord, help me see myself the way that you see me." I guarantee you it's different. We're so hard on ourselves, so ask God for his perspective. He sees you doing the right thing, showing up. He knows that you're a great mom. Number three: let go of unrealistic expectations. Oh my goodness, I need to put a star by this one. You weren't made to be super human. You were made to be supported by God. And when we fail to lean on him, He doesn't get the glory. When we trust in him, when we don't have anything else, that brings glory to him. He gets that glory. So just remember that we were not made to be this superwoman person. So all of your weaknesses, that's where God's strength comes in. So lean on that. Number four: name the guilt, and then give it to Jesus. Literally say,"Lord, I release this. I don't want to hold what you never asked me to carry." Number five: replace guilt with grace. If you listen to me often at all, you're going to realize that I love grace. I love the name Grace. I love what grace represents. Every time guilt rises, speak truth over yourself. For instance,"I am doing the best I can with the heart God gave me." This shift changes everything. It shows that you're trying and you're doing your best, and then let God handle the rest. We weren't meant to carry it all. Friend, if you've been carrying mom guilt, I want you to hear this very clearly. You are not failing. You are not falling short. You are not messing up as much as you think you are. You are loving your children with everything you have. And God sees that. He honors that. He strengthens you through that. You are a good mom, not a perfect mom, but a deeply loved grace-filled mom. And every day God is helping you grow into exactly the mother that He created you to be. You're not alone in this journey. I'm cheering for you and more importantly, God is walking with you every step of the way. Thank you for joining me today on the Grace-Filled Mom Podcast. If this episode encouraged you, would you consider sharing it with another mom who might need a little bit of extra grace today? And remember, you are loved. You are seen and you are strengthened by a God who delights in walking this motherhood journey with you. I'll see you next time.